As many of  you know I have officially moved to Michigan.  Alhumdulilah it’s nice being home.  In the beginning there were times when I went out to run errands kind of forgetting I was in Michigan, and when I would run into people I knew it was a pleasant surprise.  I have been staying with my in laws and make trips to visit my family every few weeks, I forgot what a great blessing it was to be able to go see my parents whenever I want, Alhumdulilah.

Living with my in laws has been a nice experience Alhumdulilah.  When you live with someone you build a relationship with them that cannot be built over the phone.  It’s a nice time to understand your in laws and get to know their likes and dislikes.  I feel you build a true relationship with your in laws when you live with them for a period of time.  In this day and age many daughter in laws become hesitant to stay with there in laws even if it is for a temporary time.

Now a days there are some women who put a wall up between their in laws and themselves.  This is the start of a bad beginning.  One must understand that although differences may occur your in laws are your husband’s family and they deserve to be respected.  Often you hear of the stereotypical mother in law who is overruling and always involved in your relationship with your husband.  I am not denying that there are some mother in laws who fit in this category, and these type of mother in laws need to realize that these sort of relationships are not about a power trip, instead they should be relationships of comfort and love.

People also need to realize there will be times of disagreement and misunderstanding, but then again things like this happen when you are human and it doesn’t mean its the end of a relationship or end of the world for that matter.  As Muslims we need to deal with situations with the best manner.  And even if your mother in law is wrong and you’re right it doesn’t mean you need to go the extra mile in a disagreement to prove your point.  The following hadith opened my eyes:

Abu Umamah narrated: Allah’s Messenger Messenger (pbuh) said. “I guarantee an abode within the boundary of Paradise for one who gives up arguing, even if he is right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Paradise for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun, and I guarantee the sublime portion of Paradise for one whose conduct is good.” (Abu Dawood)

I think this is a good enough reason to hold your tongue in matters of disagreement!

I have been seeing and hearing a lot of divorce occuring in our Ummah.  And in a few personal cases that I know of, most of the time the couples have a good relationship, but it was the interfering of in laws that drove the once happy couple apart.  Are petty differences worth a divorce?  The Quran states a beautiful ayah,

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad.  Repel evil by that deed which is better; and thereupon, the one whom between you and him is enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend (41:34).

What a wonderful advice from Allah SWT Himself!  Subhanallah!  I believe many relationships can be saved if this beautiful advice is followed.

I leave you with a piece of advice my dear father gave me when I got married 6 years ago.  “Beta (my dear daughter), remember if you want a blissful marriage make your husband’s family as if it is your own.”  Alhumdulilah I followed his advice, and by the grace of All Mighty Allah, Allah has blessed me with a good marriage.

May Allah protect my husband’s family, May He give them all the good in this life and even better in the hereafter!

As the boxes pile high, and the apartment gets emptier day by day I have come to realize the move to Michigan is around the corner. This move is quite a big deal because it is one step closer to the bigger move in life, the move to Egypt to study abroad.

I am originally from Michigan, so I guess you can say I am returning to my hometown. I have been in Chicago for a few years and have met the most amazing people. People that I can call true friends, friends for the sake of Allah. Chicago is a special place for me, its a place I came a few months after I graduated, a place I had my first child, and a place where I had many happy moments in life, Alhumdulilah. It makes me very sad that I have to leave, because truly Chicago is a place I like to call home. This reminds me of the other day when my dear friend Liv and I were having breakfast together at Maxfield’s. I had told her that Chicago has been a very happy place for me, and she said something that really touched my heart, she said inshallah Farah you will have many more happy moments wherever you are in life. When she said that I had to try very hard to hold my tears back.

On a happier note, it is nice to know that I will be returning to my family and friends in Michigan. It will be nice for us to spend some time with everyone before we leave. I know it is going to be very hard for our parents and siblings to see us leave and I know that deep down inside they are hoping for a change in plans. Ultimately Allah is the Planner and he decrees what is to happen, all we can do is hope and pray that the move goes smoothly.

When I pack my last few things away I know its not just for some days but for a few years. The thought gives me butterflies of the excitement to come. This has been something my husband and I have been wanting to do for some time. And we have decided that this would be a great time to take such a venture. There are days where I have mixed feelings about leaving, thinking of my family, friends and belongings that I will be leaving behind, but it is a great opportunity to study abroad, an experience of a lifetime. I know we will look back and be happy we made the decision we made.

I’d like to give a big shout out to all of the people I have met while living in Chicago, especially Qabeelah Wasat, my fellow Al Maghribers. You all are great people mashallah. Please do keep my family and I in your duas as I will keep you in mine inshallah!

The other day I went to TJ Maxx to look for a purse (kinda getting tired of the diaper bag now!) and to look for some ramekins for my sister-in-law. I went through the purses pretty quickly since every one I touched seemed to be no less than $150! Then I headed over to the household items. As I was walking through the aisle I noticed that Isra had stopped and wasn’t following me. Instead her glance was stuck on a woman who was in the same aisle as us. She was eating sunflower seeds and of course Isra was drooling . As I went to pick her up she started pointing at her signaling that she really wanted some seeds. The woman came close to us and said “Oh no, you’re going to choke on them.” The only way I could divert Isra’s attention was with some Veggie chips I had in the diaper bag!

The lady was about to leave the aisle and all of a sudden she turns and asks with a grin, “Where are you from?” And I replied “My parents are from India.” She said “Oh, ok” in a slightly unsettling manner. As she was about to leave I asked her where she was from since she seemed like she was from a different country. She told me she was from Mexico. Then the doors of conversation opened.  Subhanallah the way Allah plans things!

She told me she wanted to know where I was from because of the way I was dressed (hejab and abaya). I told her the way I am dressed is because of my religion and not where I’m from. Then I told her I was Muslim and follow the religion of Islam!

Amala, the young woman I was talking to, probably in her mid to late twenties started asking me all kinds of questions about the way Muslim women are dressed. She asked if we are forced to wear it, if we wear it because our husbands are jealous, why we have to wear it, etc. And Subhanallah, I was able to answer all of her questions in a nice manner without hesitation, Alhumdulilah it was all by the grace of Allah! She was so interested in everything I had to say and was listening intently. We must have been talking for 15-20 minutes. At the end of the conversation she said that she saw things in a different light! At that time I gave her my personal business card and told her if she had any other questions or misconceptions she wanted me to clarify I would be more than happy in doing so. I left the store smiling!

Dawah has become a particular area of interest of mine since I made dawah to my neighbor Joe (http://themuslimhousewife.com/2008/03/28/a-few-kind-words/). I make dua to Allah SWT to enable me to convey His message in a correct and eloquent manner. It is our duty as Muslims to convey the message of Islam, Allah is the one who guides!  I pray that Allah gives guidance to Amala and my neighbor Joe, and to allow them to see the truth of Islam!

Ladies, remember as Muslimahs who where hejab and/or abaya we are walking sources of dawah. Many people look at us and have a thought or wonder why we do what we do. And then those who have enough curiosity approach us and ask us. This is a great way to open the doors to converse about our religion and clear up misconceptions people may have!

Many look, some ask, few ponder!