The Muslim Housewife.

I’ve been in South Carolina for the past two weeks.  I do have to admit on my flight to the south I was getting nervous about getting dirty looks towards my appearance as a Muslimah (hijab & abaya).  I think the last time I felt like that was when I started wearing hijab to High School where there were no Muslims.  It’s a kind of feeling where your stomach turns and you feel a butterfly sensation.

To my suprise since the day I landed here I have not received one dirty look, Alhumdulilah!  Instead I have received many smiles and nods of respect.  People here actually go out of their way to be nice, opening doors for you and  sincerely asking how you are doing.  There doesn’t seem to be many Muslims here, I bumped into one Muslimah at the mall.  She came up to me and introduced herself and told me that my face seemed new to her since she knew bascially all the Muslims in town!  There also isn’t any zabiha places to eat around here, which was a little hard to adjust to in the beginning.

Reflecting upon all of this makes me grateful for all the things I do have back home in Chicago.  The great Muslim community, the abundant Masajid and an assortment of zabiha restaurants you can choose from.  Alhumdulilah, it truly is a blessing.

On another note, I have been able to do some dawah while I have been here.  Every morning there is a breakfast reception in the hotel I am staying at.  Isra and I make our way down and get some breakfast every morning.  The employee who works there, Barbara, is a very friendly African American woman.  After a few days of seeing one another we started talking.  At first it was basic conversation about our backgrounds.  Just yesterday I thought it would be a good time to bring up religion.  The topic came about so smoothly, it wasn’t wierd or akward at all.  Alhumdulilah it was a very good conversation and I hope that Allah SWT will guide her to the truth.  She listened very intently and didn’t refute at all!

As Muslims we have to remember that it is part of our duty to spread the deen of Islam.  This has been a particularly new interest of mine and I have been trying to make the best of every oppotunity I get to do dawah.  Many of us think we are not capable of spreading our deen because we are not knowledgable enough.  The truth is we all know the basic beliefs of our religion and that is essentially what you need to convey.  You don’t have to be fancy with your words, you just need to speak from the heart and tell others what the religion of Islam is truly about.  There is a great CD set out there by Sh. Muhammad Alshareef called ”Fiqh Ad-Dawah: Guiding to Allah by the Book” definitely worth checking out.  Inshallah Allah will make this duty easy upon all of us.

All in all I would have to say the south has truly lived up to its “Southern Hospitality.”  Back to Chicago on Friday inshallah!

In the past month or so I have been traveling a lot.  I was in Michigan for a few weeks here and there for family events, currently I am in South Carolina, and then later this month I will be in California for about a week (a shout out to all of my Michigan, S.Carolina and California readers, jazakallah khair for the support!).  I love traveling and seeing new places and new things, but with traveling comes a lot of adjusting.  One  must adapt to new places quickly when always on the go.

As I got a moment to sit down and relax (while Isra was sleeping of course!)  I began to think, as much as I love traveling there is no place like home.  After a few weeks anywhere I start to miss my daily routine.  I feel like when I am at home I am a lot more disciplined with myself  when it comes to doing extra good deeds or eating healthy and exercising.  The things I do at home such as read Quran before I go to bed, exercise, and eat healthy  are things I want to be a part of me…a habit.  While traveling I realized that these things I do at home are not true habits because it seems when I leave my “bubble” in Wheaton, Illinois I leave these so called habits behind as well.

It is important for a person to make the good things they do into a habit, something that a person does automatically without giving much thought.  Of course if you travel a lot it may not be possible to have the exact same daily routine you have at home, this is normal.  But I believe you can selectively pick and choose the good things you do on a daily basis and apply to your day even when you are on the go.  This will make you feel good both physically, spiritually and will keep the homesick feeling at bay.

One problem many people have is a take it or leave it attitude.  If a person cannot have their complete routine they will leave it totally.  To get past this we need to realize that when traveling or visiting family the truth is we most likely will not be able to have our typical daily routine, but to do a few things that are easy to do is better than nothing.

This not only applies to adults but children as well.  I know for those who are mothers (myself included) may get frustrated at times when our children’s routine goes haywire.  Their sleeping, eating, playing, you name it gets all jumbled around when you’re on the road.  This is just a fact of life.  But we can still do things such as bath before bedtime, and reading a book before bedtime, and going for daily walks to make things feel a little more like home.

So all in all one thing I learned from my reflections on traveling so much is that a habit is not a true habit unless you do those things where ever you are in any circumstance.  Since I will be traveling quite a bit this month my goal is to pick 4 good things I do daily at home and apply it and make it into a REAL, TRUE habit!

Are you a traveler?  Read the following quick tips, called Triple P, to keep your Mind, Body, and Soul nourished!

1. Pick 4- good things you do when you are at home and make them into REAL habits. Make sure you try to pick one for each mind, body, and soul! (i.e. Mind=Reading a good book, Body=Exercising/Eating healthy, Soul=Reading and reflecting upon the Qura)

2. Pay a visit- to the local Masjid.  When you settle in at your hotel make sure you look up the closest masjid, its always nice to find a Muslim Community!

3. Purge the urge- to always eat out, try to stay in a hotel that has a basic kitchen.  Go to the local market and buy fruits, veggies, eggs, bread. etc. and make your own quick meals.  A lot better for your heart and pocket!

Us salaam alaikum wa rehmathullahi wa barakatuhu.

Inshallah you all are doing well.  I wanted to inform you of a correction in a previous post I had written, “A Creative Way to Lift a Burden.”  In the post I had written how one could pay their fidiyah by purchasing FEED bags from Whole Foods.   My dear group in charge (May Allah bless her and her family) from Al Huda Institute emailed me asking if it was ok to pay the fidiyah to Non-Muslims.  Alhumdulilah for her asking this very important question that did not occur to me.

That same weekend of her inquiry, Sheikh Yasir Qadhi (May Allah accept his good deeds) was in Chicago to teach an Al Maghrib Class.  The question was forwarded to him and he said that the fidiyah MUST be given to Muslims, unless it is absolutely impossible.  Which in most cases it is very easy to feed needy Muslims through organizations such as Islamic Relief.  I also went on Wikipedia to check the demographic statistics of Rwanda (the country in which the children are given food if the “FEED” bags are purchased) to see if the majority by any chance was Muslim, it was not.

Therefore I will have to repay my fidiyah.  I will most likely pay it through Islamic Relief.  If you purchased these bags in order to pay your fidiyah please understand that you MUST REPAY the FIDIYAH.  If you go through Islamic Relief or any other organization make sure you specify the money to go towards the feeding of people.  Another idea could be to send money to relatives back home and have them feed the needy Muslims in their local area.

I also had the question of how much money would one have to pay.  Usually if you are feeding people you calculate how much one average meal would cost and multiply it by the number of people you need to feed (1 person for every fast missed). So for an example, you can get a good meal for $5.00 in the United States, I missed 30 days of fasts so that’s 30 people x $5.00=$150.  I would send a check to the designated organization of $150 to feed the needy Muslims. Allah knows best.

I ask Allah the Most Merciful to forgive me if I have led anyone astray, indeed He is the most knowledgeable in all that we do in action and in heart.  I ask Allah to accept all of our good deeds.  And for those who have purchased these bags, I ask Allah to accept this act as a charitable act in and of itself.

Your Sister in Islam,

Farah Anwarullah