The Muslim Housewife.

As the boxes pile high, and the apartment gets emptier day by day I have come to realize the move to Michigan is around the corner. This move is quite a big deal because it is one step closer to the bigger move in life, the move to Egypt to study abroad.

I am originally from Michigan, so I guess you can say I am returning to my hometown. I have been in Chicago for a few years and have met the most amazing people. People that I can call true friends, friends for the sake of Allah. Chicago is a special place for me, its a place I came a few months after I graduated, a place I had my first child, and a place where I had many happy moments in life, Alhumdulilah. It makes me very sad that I have to leave, because truly Chicago is a place I like to call home. This reminds me of the other day when my dear friend Liv and I were having breakfast together at Maxfield’s. I had told her that Chicago has been a very happy place for me, and she said something that really touched my heart, she said inshallah Farah you will have many more happy moments wherever you are in life. When she said that I had to try very hard to hold my tears back.

On a happier note, it is nice to know that I will be returning to my family and friends in Michigan. It will be nice for us to spend some time with everyone before we leave. I know it is going to be very hard for our parents and siblings to see us leave and I know that deep down inside they are hoping for a change in plans. Ultimately Allah is the Planner and he decrees what is to happen, all we can do is hope and pray that the move goes smoothly.

When I pack my last few things away I know its not just for some days but for a few years. The thought gives me butterflies of the excitement to come. This has been something my husband and I have been wanting to do for some time. And we have decided that this would be a great time to take such a venture. There are days where I have mixed feelings about leaving, thinking of my family, friends and belongings that I will be leaving behind, but it is a great opportunity to study abroad, an experience of a lifetime. I know we will look back and be happy we made the decision we made.

I’d like to give a big shout out to all of the people I have met while living in Chicago, especially Qabeelah Wasat, my fellow Al Maghribers. You all are great people mashallah. Please do keep my family and I in your duas as I will keep you in mine inshallah!

Yes that’s me, I am a wife of a business intelligence consultant. What is a consultant you ask? A consultant works in partnership with clients, advising them how to use information technology in order to meet their business objectives or overcome problems. Consultants work to improve the structure and efficiency and of an organsiation’s IT systems.

I have been married for over 5 years now Alhumdulilah, out of the 5 years my husband has been a consultant for a little over 2 years. So what’s the big deal? You might be thinking it sounds like a regular 9am-5pm job, and I have the house clean and dinner ready by the time he comes home in the evening, think again. As a consultant my husband flies out on Sunday nights and comes back home on Thursday nights.

This may be a hard relationship for most people. It’s not for everybody. You have to be prepared to be away from your husband 4 days out of the week, take care of everything at home on your own, and be ready to share him with other events and things on the weekends. In the beginning it took a little time to get use to, I would miss him dearly as I laid down in bed and would count the days till Thursday night would arrive. But after sometime it just became a way of life.

Being the eldest amongst my siblings I had always been quite independent, I think this quality really helps me with this lifestyle. You have to know how to keep yourself busy (Isra does a great job in this department!) and most importantly keep up with yourself even though your husband is not around. I remember in the beginning I use to be in my PJs most of the day since it was just me and Isra, but I soon realized this really affected the way I felt. So I started getting ready and took care of myself, I felt a big difference. Isra apparently saw a difference too because when I walked out of the bedroom she said “Oh wow”!

There are definitely pros and cons of being a wife of a consultant.

Some pros include…

-Traveling to different places with my husband a few weeks here and there. So far we have been blessed to have seen California, North Carolina, and South Carolina. Whenever he has a new project Isra and I try to go visit him for a few weeks to check out the area!

-You start to appreciate one another a lot more since you see a lot less of each other.

-Being alone at home taking care of a child and household chores makes you stronger as a woman.

Some cons include…

-You’re not together as a family as often as you would like

-The weekends together go by way to fast

-Cooking for one person is hard, you just don’t feel like cooking when you have to just feed yourself!

-Not seeing your husband on a daily basis.

All in all, the profession of a consultant can easily break a marriage if one chooses career over their relationship. It cannot work with all people, it is very important to discuss this career option with your spouse or soon to be spouse before getting married because it can be a big test for a relationship. Alhumdulilah my husband and I agreed that we were both the type of people that could handle this lifestyle!

And guess what day tomorrow is? THURSDAY! The day my husband comes home inshallah

South Carolina to Illinois

About a month ago, on a hot sticky day, I took Isra, my 15 month old daughter, to McDonald’s for an ice cream cone. I had been wanting to watch my lil munchkin eat a cone for some time and thought this would be a great day for it! As I drove into the McDonald’s parking lot the first thing that caught my eye was a drive thru lined up with Mini Vans with little kids in the back telling their Moms to make sure they get a Happy Meal with a certain toy.

As Isra was going at her ice cream I started thinking about how the golden arches twinkle in so many children’s eyes. A child is introduced to McDonald’s from such a young age and is instantly hooked to it. I am a mother who is totally against feeding children this type of frozen, fried, zapped, ready to eat fast food. With child obesity on the rise it is very important for us to watch what we feed children.

There are some mothers who drive their kids to Mickey D’s for a quick meal, knowing that their kids will enjoy the food, not complain, and at the end get a good amount of food for your buck. And then you have other mothers who are rushing back home from work and have no energy to cook up a meal after work so they think the easiest and cheapest thing to do is pick up a few Happy Meals for the kids. I don’t think there is any excuse for someone to feed their children this unhealthy food. Moms at home can take time out to make meals they know their kids will enjoy and the working mom should plan ahead and manage her time so she will be able to have a homemade meal ready for that day.

McDonald’s fast food is nutritionally high in fat and calories with very little good nutrition in it. So why would you want to feed your kid this garbage? Now, granted every now and then we all like eating out because it’s fun, a nice change for our taste buds, and most importantly it gives us women a break! But there are many other options of eating out than these typical fast food joints. For an example, our family loves eating at places like Chipotle, Qdoba, and Sweet Tomatoes. These places serve great fresh good that is delicious!

This post is not to tell you to stop eating out, just remember, when you do feel like eating out make wiser and healthier choices. And if the kids really want to go to the golden arches get them something small like some milk and apple dappers, or even a small sweet treat like an ice cream cone. This way they get to go, and eat something without going overboard on fat and calories. And remember when you make healthier choices for your children as they grow up they too will understand the importance of staying away from fast foods and eating a healthy, balanced diet.

“Oh mankind, eat from whatever is on the earth that is lawful and good (clean, pure, good) and do not follow the steps of Shaytaan. Indeed to you he is a clear enemy.” [2:168]