The

Muslim Housewife

In the past month or so I have been traveling a lot.  I was in Michigan for a few weeks here and there for family events, currently I am in South Carolina, and then later this month I will be in California for about a week (a shout out to all of my Michigan, S.Carolina and California readers, jazakallah khair for the support!).  I love traveling and seeing new places and new things, but with traveling comes a lot of adjusting.  One  must adapt to new places quickly when always on the go.

As I got a moment to sit down and relax (while Isra was sleeping of course!)  I began to think, as much as I love traveling there is no place like home.  After a few weeks anywhere I start to miss my daily routine.  I feel like when I am at home I am a lot more disciplined with myself  when it comes to doing extra good deeds or eating healthy and exercising.  The things I do at home such as read Quran before I go to bed, exercise, and eat healthy  are things I want to be a part of me…a habit.  While traveling I realized that these things I do at home are not true habits because it seems when I leave my “bubble” in Wheaton, Illinois I leave these so called habits behind as well.

It is important for a person to make the good things they do into a habit, something that a person does automatically without giving much thought.  Of course if you travel a lot it may not be possible to have the exact same daily routine you have at home, this is normal.  But I believe you can selectively pick and choose the good things you do on a daily basis and apply to your day even when you are on the go.  This will make you feel good both physically, spiritually and will keep the homesick feeling at bay.

One problem many people have is a take it or leave it attitude.  If a person cannot have their complete routine they will leave it totally.  To get past this we need to realize that when traveling or visiting family the truth is we most likely will not be able to have our typical daily routine, but to do a few things that are easy to do is better than nothing.

This not only applies to adults but children as well.  I know for those who are mothers (myself included) may get frustrated at times when our children’s routine goes haywire.  Their sleeping, eating, playing, you name it gets all jumbled around when you’re on the road.  This is just a fact of life.  But we can still do things such as bath before bedtime, and reading a book before bedtime, and going for daily walks to make things feel a little more like home.

So all in all one thing I learned from my reflections on traveling so much is that a habit is not a true habit unless you do those things where ever you are in any circumstance.  Since I will be traveling quite a bit this month my goal is to pick 4 good things I do daily at home and apply it and make it into a REAL, TRUE habit!

Are you a traveler?  Read the following quick tips, called Triple P, to keep your Mind, Body, and Soul nourished!

1. Pick 4- good things you do when you are at home and make them into REAL habits. Make sure you try to pick one for each mind, body, and soul! (i.e. Mind=Reading a good book, Body=Exercising/Eating healthy, Soul=Reading and reflecting upon the Qura)

2. Pay a visit- to the local Masjid.  When you settle in at your hotel make sure you look up the closest masjid, its always nice to find a Muslim Community!

3. Purge the urge- to always eat out, try to stay in a hotel that has a basic kitchen.  Go to the local market and buy fruits, veggies, eggs, bread. etc. and make your own quick meals.  A lot better for your heart and pocket!

About a month ago, on a hot sticky day, I took Isra, my 15 month old daughter, to McDonald’s for an ice cream cone. I had been wanting to watch my lil munchkin eat a cone for some time and thought this would be a great day for it! As I drove into the McDonald’s parking lot the first thing that caught my eye was a drive thru lined up with Mini Vans with little kids in the back telling their Moms to make sure they get a Happy Meal with a certain toy.

As Isra was going at her ice cream I started thinking about how the golden arches twinkle in so many children’s eyes. A child is introduced to McDonald’s from such a young age and is instantly hooked to it. I am a mother who is totally against feeding children this type of frozen, fried, zapped, ready to eat fast food. With child obesity on the rise it is very important for us to watch what we feed children.

There are some mothers who drive their kids to Mickey D’s for a quick meal, knowing that their kids will enjoy the food, not complain, and at the end get a good amount of food for your buck. And then you have other mothers who are rushing back home from work and have no energy to cook up a meal after work so they think the easiest and cheapest thing to do is pick up a few Happy Meals for the kids. I don’t think there is any excuse for someone to feed their children this unhealthy food. Moms at home can take time out to make meals they know their kids will enjoy and the working mom should plan ahead and manage her time so she will be able to have a homemade meal ready for that day.

McDonald’s fast food is nutritionally high in fat and calories with very little good nutrition in it. So why would you want to feed your kid this garbage? Now, granted every now and then we all like eating out because it’s fun, a nice change for our taste buds, and most importantly it gives us women a break! But there are many other options of eating out than these typical fast food joints. For an example, our family loves eating at places like Chipotle, Qdoba, and Sweet Tomatoes. These places serve great fresh good that is delicious!

This post is not to tell you to stop eating out, just remember, when you do feel like eating out make wiser and healthier choices. And if the kids really want to go to the golden arches get them something small like some milk and apple dappers, or even a small sweet treat like an ice cream cone. This way they get to go, and eat something without going overboard on fat and calories. And remember when you make healthier choices for your children as they grow up they too will understand the importance of staying away from fast foods and eating a healthy, balanced diet.

“Oh mankind, eat from whatever is on the earth that is lawful and good (clean, pure, good) and do not follow the steps of Shaytaan. Indeed to you he is a clear enemy.” [2:168]

As I put my daughter Isra to sleep I couldn’t help but reflect upon the love I have for her. Subhanallah it is amazing how Allah SWT has made the relationship between a mother and her child, and how he has filled a mother’s heart with unconditional love. What melted my heart even more was when Isra would hum herself to sleep and then randomly turn around to give me a kiss!

I remember before I had a kid, I would hear from parents of how much they love their children, and of course my own mom and dad would express their love to me. They would say, ” you will not understand the love of a parent until you become one inshallah”. I thought I did understand until the day came where I had my own child. Now I can say without a doubt, that one does not know that type of love until they experience it.

It is unfortunate that many people undervalue their parents until they themselves become parents. Parents are the ones who went through sleepless nights to take care of you, who would worry if you got sick, and they would feed you before themselves. The list of the things they have done for us is endless, so should we not show them the utmost respect? There are many verses in the Quran that state a child’s duty to be good to his/her parents. I find it quite amazing that in almost all of the verses the order of being good to your parents comes right after the order of worshiping Allah alone. That truly shows you the importance of parents in Islam doesn’t it?

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.” [Surah Isra:23]

If your parents are alive, Alhumdulilah you still have a chance to earn great reward and make them happy. If your parents have left this world, you can still make dua for them.

A few years ago I took a class taught by Sh. Muhammad Faqih in Ann Arbor, MI. I remember we were learning about the importance of parents when he recited a beautiful poem in Arabic (I forgot the name of the writer). Below is the translation of the poem he recited…

One day a man with an evil intention
Deceived a boy with some money,
Wishing to cause him some harm.
He said to him “bring me the heart of your mother,
And I will give you a lot of reward.”
So this ungrateful boy went,
Stabbed her, cut her open.
He pulled the heart out, and was bringing it to the man
As he tripped and fell down,
The heart came out of his hand and got dusty.
As he looked up, he heard his mothers voice
Coming from the heart saying
“Oh my son, are you hurt?”
Upon hearing the voice he was shocked,
He thought to himself “what have I done?”
He grabbed the dagger, intending to stab himself
Suddenly he heard the heart scream out,
“Please stop, my son, do not stab yourself and kill me twice!”

Upon hearing this poem, my tears flowed uncontrollably. Soon after I called my mother and told her I loved her and asked her to forgive me for any hurt I may have caused her…

I ask Allah the All Mighty to protect our children from evil, to make their hearts firm in their deen, and to make them successful in this life and even more so in the hereafter. I ask Allah the Most Merciful to grant our parents Jannatul Firdous, and to have mercy on them. Ameen.