The Muslim Housewife.

As I put my daughter Isra to sleep I couldn’t help but reflect upon the love I have for her. Subhanallah it is amazing how Allah SWT has made the relationship between a mother and her child, and how he has filled a mother’s heart with unconditional love. What melted my heart even more was when Isra would hum herself to sleep and then randomly turn around to give me a kiss!

I remember before I had a kid, I would hear from parents of how much they love their children, and of course my own mom and dad would express their love to me. They would say, ” you will not understand the love of a parent until you become one inshallah”. I thought I did understand until the day came where I had my own child. Now I can say without a doubt, that one does not know that type of love until they experience it.

It is unfortunate that many people undervalue their parents until they themselves become parents. Parents are the ones who went through sleepless nights to take care of you, who would worry if you got sick, and they would feed you before themselves. The list of the things they have done for us is endless, so should we not show them the utmost respect? There are many verses in the Quran that state a child’s duty to be good to his/her parents. I find it quite amazing that in almost all of the verses the order of being good to your parents comes right after the order of worshiping Allah alone. That truly shows you the importance of parents in Islam doesn’t it?

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.” [Surah Isra:23]

If your parents are alive, Alhumdulilah you still have a chance to earn great reward and make them happy. If your parents have left this world, you can still make dua for them.

A few years ago I took a class taught by Sh. Muhammad Faqih in Ann Arbor, MI. I remember we were learning about the importance of parents when he recited a beautiful poem in Arabic (I forgot the name of the writer). Below is the translation of the poem he recited…

One day a man with an evil intention
Deceived a boy with some money,
Wishing to cause him some harm.
He said to him “bring me the heart of your mother,
And I will give you a lot of reward.”
So this ungrateful boy went,
Stabbed her, cut her open.
He pulled the heart out, and was bringing it to the man
As he tripped and fell down,
The heart came out of his hand and got dusty.
As he looked up, he heard his mothers voice
Coming from the heart saying
“Oh my son, are you hurt?”
Upon hearing the voice he was shocked,
He thought to himself “what have I done?”
He grabbed the dagger, intending to stab himself
Suddenly he heard the heart scream out,
“Please stop, my son, do not stab yourself and kill me twice!”

Upon hearing this poem, my tears flowed uncontrollably. Soon after I called my mother and told her I loved her and asked her to forgive me for any hurt I may have caused her…

I ask Allah the All Mighty to protect our children from evil, to make their hearts firm in their deen, and to make them successful in this life and even more so in the hereafter. I ask Allah the Most Merciful to grant our parents Jannatul Firdous, and to have mercy on them. Ameen.

1. MAKE GOOD INTENTIONS

As moms and wives we often get wrapped up in taking care of the family and home. Sometimes you may feel upset that you have no time to do extra to please Allah SWT. Well I’m here to tell you that everything you do in life can equal a reward, you just have to have the right intentions. One thing we all need to do is actively think of the reasons why we do things. For an example, when we take care of our husbands we should make the intention that we are doing this because Allah gets pleased with those wives who are good and grateful to their husbands.

2. HAVE ALONE TIME WITH ALLAH

It is also very important for us women to take out some alone time with Allah. Think of a time when the kids are asleep, this may be after Fajr salah or maybe after you tuck in the kids for the night. After you offer your prayer try sitting and just talking to Allah from the heart. Anything at all, things that are worrying you, things that you are grateful for, or maybe things you need help with in your life. I have done this on many occasions and Subhanallah you have this warm fuzzy feeling after you do it! You may go to your best friend to vent and tell her your frustrations, she might listen and maybe even judge you at times. But Allah, our true best friend is there to listen, He does not judge, and He is the only one that can truly help you. He is the All Hearer and the Allah Knower!

3. THINK OF DEATH ON A DAILY BASIS

And lastly, we need to remember to think of death on a daily basis. If we do this things are kept in perspective. You realize that this time we have in the duniya is temporary. You also remember to do more things now to get you an eternal, blissful life in the hereafter. Nothing is more certain than death, yet it seems like we take it so lightly. But the day will come when each one us will be visited by the Angel of Death. At that time we will leave our families and our most favorite things behind, and will be only left with our deeds. Are we ready to face our Lord? Have we done enough deeds to tip the balance in our favor? Truly death is the destroyer of all pleasures.

I ask Allah SWT to save us all from the punishment of hell, and to guide us and keep us on the straight path till the end of our time. I ask Allah the All Mighty to enter us all into Jannat ul Firdous. Ameen.

As summer comes near so do the abundance of weddings! I thought it would be most appropriate to write a post about lessons I learned from my own wedding. I hope this post will be beneficial for those getting married this summer, and for those who will get married in the future.

I will have to admit that writing this post means revisiting a really hard time in my life, but inshallah I think it will be beneficial to share my thoughts and experiences.

I had a typical Desi wedding. Bride and Groom center stage. Men on one side, women on the other. Nice decoration, good food. It was a day that my family and I prepared for so much, but only lasted a few mere hours. As most brides, I was center (literally) of attention that day. All decked out, dupatta on the head, adorned with jewelry and all fancied up. I was there, propped up on stage next to my newly wed for the world to see, men included. At the time it seemed like such a blissful moment.

Few months into my marriage I started experiencing out of the ordinary headaches, headaches that would not go away with any type of medication. I had always been a healthy girl with no health problems, the only thing that changed in my life was that fact that I was married. The headaches continued and seemed to come more often. I saw all types of doctors and had all types of tests, none of which could figure out what the problem was. I was perfectly healthy. Eventually doctors stamped my case as migraines. Let’s just say I didn’t buy it.

We thought the best thing to do would be to see a Sheikh. We went to someone very close to my husband, he had known this Sheikh for years before we got married. As we told the Sheikh the story, he diagnosed me as having hasad (jealously/envy). He said I most likely got hasad at the time of my wedding. When he said that, I thought back to my wedding day, my heart sunk to my stomach. That day did not seem as blissful anymore.

The Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, warned Muslims against envy when he said “Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shapes. I do not say it shapes the hair but it shapes the religion. By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves.” [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

To confirm that I did have hasad inflicted upon me we saw various Shuyukh, including our dear Sh. Yasir Qadhi, who confirmed that I had hasad done on me. I went through years of unbearable physical pain, and all because of that one day that lasted a few hours. I ask Allah SWT to forgive me for being ignorant at the time.

My dear sisters, there is a lesson to be learned from my situation. I have not shared a personal story with you all so you would know of a person who had gone through hasad. I want those soon to be brides to realize that it is ok to celebrate a joyous event such as your wedding, but remember it is also very important to abide by Islamic rules and regulations during these occasions. I speak to myself before others when I say, there is no reason to display a bride, center stage, especially in front of men. I feel the best thing to do at functions such as these is to have a full partition. And even then I believe the best thing to do is have the bride sit at the same level as her guests. Moreover, don’t go overboard in anything you do that day, for Allah forbids israaf (being extravagant).

Alhumdulilah I am cured, and subhanallah have no more strange headaches. Allah knows best as to why and how this happened to me. It may have been a lesson that I and others hearing my story would learn from. Remember sisters, it is important to be cautious at the time of your wedding. Pay special attention in making sure your wedding meets Islamic guidelines and also remember to recite Ayat ul Kursi, Surah Al Falaq, Surah An Nas, and Surah Ikhlas before you go to bed, or better yet after every salah. For indeed this is the ultimate protection.

I ask Allah SWT, the Ultimate Protector, to keep us far, far away from hasad and seher. Ameen.