The Muslim Housewife.

“Those will have gardens of perpetual residence; beneath them rivers will flow. They will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold and will wear green garments of fine silk and brocade, reclining therein on adorned couches. Excellent is the reward, and good is the resting place.” [18:31]

There are times we all lose focus. Shaytaan gets the best of us and we forget what we are really working for. We forget our ultimate goal. Anytime I start feeling like this I immediately think of this ayah from Surah Al-Kahf. After I read it I regain focus and get a quick eman boost!

Just like homes in this life aren’t free neither is a home in Jannah. We must all work hard to get that home made of gold and jewels. To receive all that has been mentioned in the ayah above we need to do as many righteous deeds we can with sincerity and according to the sunnah. From picking up something off the floor to giving charity we should never pass an opportunity to do good.

There will never be ultimate comfort in this life, even when we feel like we have reached comfort our minds still carry worries and concerns of this life. The true comfort is saved for the hereafter. We put so much effort to attain things in this life that are all temporary. One day we will die and leave all that we worked for in this life behind. What have we done to ensure that we will have a blissful hereafter? The Shaytaan forgets we have to work hard for the hereafter. We have to look beyond this life and look forward to the eternal life.

As wives we need to join our husband and help one another to do as much good as possible. When there is such support it is easier to do such things. We should encourage our husbands to do Islamic activities. Encourage him to join in on a weekly halaqa, or take weekend seminars with institutes like Al Maghrib. Often when we try to plan a husband/wife activity we try to come up with something “fun” to do. This usually involves dining out and maybe even a bit of shopping. We should also take out time to do Islamic activities together. I personally enjoy doing Salah together. If you don’t do this already give it a try! There are other things you could do as well such as going to an Islamic lecture, reading a book, or reflecting upon a ayah from the Quran or hadith. When the husband and wife are strong in their faith inshallah the children will also follow.

Generally the youth get more attracted to the adornments of this life. That is why there is a hadith that states one of the seven types of people to receive Allah’s shade on the day of judgment is a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah [paraphrased from Sahih Bukhari]. Don’t you want your children to be amongst these youth? As mothers we need to teach our children the great reward of obeying Allah and worshiping Him alone. We need to teach them that there is more to life than Barbie, Cinderella, Basketball, and Legos. There is the need to attain Jannah, our ultimate goal!

The good things in this world should remind us about Allah and then remind us of our final destination. Allah has sent us here for a test and those who pass will have their great reward in the eternal life inshallah!

 *Activity* Print out this ayah [18:31] and put it somewhere you can see, it is a great reminder of what we will attain in the hereafter if we are believers who are most obedient to Allah SWT and work in His way.

This past Sunday there was a potluck for two brides to be (my dear cousin-in-law and a daughter of a family friend) at my mother in laws house. At the party I gave my first Islamic “talk.” Below is the transcribed version…

Bismillah.

Narrated by Ibn Abbas: The Prophet (saw) said: “I was shown the hellfire and that te majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” He (saw) replied, “They were ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and good done to one of them and then she sees something in you no of her liking she will say, I have never received any good from you.”

Inshallah I will be giving a brief talk about a women’s natural disposition of generalizing her husband’s negative traits. Not only does this hadith give us a marital tip but it shows how much Allah SWT dislikes the act of ungratefulness. It is also very interesting to note that the punishment of this act is directly proportional to the impact it has on your marriage.

Generally speaking, if you look at the commands and punishments of Allah you will notice that the more negative impact a sin has on your life the more severe the punishment. Isn’t this so? For an example, adultery is a major sin. It ruins your relationship with your spouse which could lead to a bad relationship with your children. All of this leads to destruction in society. So as you can see adultery has a huge negative affect on your life therefore its punishment is equally as severe.

Tying this back to the hadith, being ungrateful to your husband can cause rifts in your marriage and furthermore it’s a road map to the hellfire. So what exactly is at the end of the road?

The Quran states:

“No food will there be for them except from a bitter, thorny plant which neither nourishes nor avails against hunger.” [88:6-7]

“They will be give to drink boiling water, so that it cuts up their bowels to pieces. ” [47:15]

Subhanallah, Allah gives us a description of the hellfire and fully illustrates the punishment and torment. One will be so hungry and thirsty and will have nothing but these things to eat and drink. A person will eat the thorny plants and drink the boiling water hoping that his hunger and thirst will go away, but it doesn’t!

There are many examples of how women generalize their husband’s negative traits. Sometimes husbands have a chore in the house that they do on a regular basis. Usually it’s vacuuming or taking out the trash. He usually does it, but once in a while he forgets. You see the undone chore and start thinking of the fact that it’s not done, that day there are other things adding to your stress and the first moment you see your husband you say, “You never help me around the house.” You say this although you know that he truly does help you, but as any human forgets once in a while. The other example of ungratefulness is when you see good qualities in other husbands and compare them to your husband, totally undermining all of the good qualities your husband has that others do not.

Granted there are many times when women are overwhelmed with the many they have to do. From chasing after children, to cooking on a daily basis and at times even working. We have all the excuses in the world to be stressed, but that doesn’t mean we should wait for the moment we are with our husbands to take out our frustrations on him when he makes one isolated mistake.

Inshallah if you follow my three step formula called “FRE” you will avoid this dangerous pitfall in your marriage.

1. FOCUS on the positive traits rather than the negative one he just did

2. Seek REFUGE in Allah from the whispers of Shaytaan, this is the most important step one could take. Once you do this you will automatically feel a calmness overcome you.

3. Catch yourself EARLY before you go 1,000 miles in the wrong direction

Inshallah I make dua to Allah SWT, for Him to put mercy and blessings between you and your husband.

Subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika, ‘ash-hadu ‘an laa ‘ilaaha ‘illaa ‘Anta, ‘astaghfiruka wa ‘atoobu ‘ilayka.

Glory is to You, O Allah, and praise is to You. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but You. I seek Your forgiveness and repent to You.

My husband emailed me this wonderful story about a man memorizing the Quran in less than two months. Yes, you read that correctly, less than two months! It is truly an encouraging and inspiring story for those of us who long to memorize the Book of Allah. This story was so good it was worth sharing…Enjoy.

When will I see you as a Haafidh?

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Shaykh Yasir Salamah
I recently heard an incredibly amazing account told by Shaykh Yasir Salamah, one of the leading Imams and recitors of Egypt. In his audio tape ‘When will I see you as a Haafidh?’ he speaks of the true account of Muhammad, a brother who after attending a workshop on memorising Qur’aan and utilising all the available mediums, went on to memorise the entire Qur’aan within just 50 days (i.e 2 months)

Within 2 months?!

Yes. Within 2 months. This is his account and he says:

“I declared a state of Jihad upon my soul and put death before my eyes. I made an intention to memorise the Noble Qur’aan. So I abandoned telephone calls and unnecessary visits, and I changed all the negative thoughts associated with hifdh (memorisation) to positive and practical ones e.g. When a thought came to me saying ‘I can’t do it!’ I’d say, ‘I can do it.’ If it said, ‘My memory is weak!’ I’d say ‘I take pleasure in having a great memory.’

I chose the masjid as the place of my hifdh as it preserves three:

1. The eyes

2. The ears

3. The tongue

I followed a specific dietary program consisting of eating dates, fruits and honey - and fasting helped me a great deal in that. I used to wake up before salaat al-Fajr by 2 and a half hours and I slept 2 hours after ‘Isha. I used to wake up for Tahajjud (the night prayer), prolonging my sujood wherein I would call upon Allaah ta’alaa to ease for me my affair. I would also seek forgiveness 100 times.

I began to memorise 5 pages and would recite them in the Sunnah prayers of Fajr. After salaat al-Fajr, I would begin the memorisation of 5 new pages and at the end, I would recite them in the 2 raka’ahs of salaat al-Duhaa, all the time thanking Allaah for easing the memorisation.

I would perfect the recitation of what I had memorised by listening to tapes of one of the recitors. I would read about the qiraa’ah in books or via the Muqaddimah al-Jazariyyah (poem on the ahkam of tajweed).

After salaat al-Dhuhr, I would repeat everything that I had memorised previously beginning from the 1st Juz, until salaat al-’Asr. After the ‘Asr prayer, I would repeat the new portion of hifdh and the juz before. After the Maghrib prayer, I would prepare the recitation of 10 new pages and it was only after salaat al-’Isha that I’d review the Qur’aan with my teacher, may Allaah reward him well.

Before retiring to bed, I would listen to all that I memorised in the day from cassettes and I would be sitting for 6 continuous hours, without any boredom or feeling tired. In the 1st week, I would sit for 6 hours, memorising and revising. In the 2nd week, I would sit for 8 hours. In the 3rd week, it was 10 hours and in the 4th week, it was 12 hours. In the last 10 days, I was sitting for 14 hours memorising and revising.

The hardest times for me were when it came to sleeping and eating. I ardently wished that the period of sleep would end quickly so that I could start my hifdh of the Noble of Qur’aan. Everytime I began to read the Qur’aan and memorise, I felt such delight and enjoyment that I had never felt before. Du’a was an important factor for me before and after hifdh. I would memorise a page whilst sitting down and then repeat it whilst walking. My teacher played an important role in encouraging me, in revision, in correcting me and benefiting me in terms of Tajweed.

In the last week, on the night of 20th Ramadan, only 4 and a half juz remained until completion of hifdh. So I turned to Allaah to open up my way and ease it for me. I went on to memorise it in 6 days with the Help of Allaah.

Laylatul-Qadr came, the night of delight and happiness - it was like a wedding night to me. My completion of hifdh took place between Maghrib and ‘Isha in the masjid with the Imam and those in I’tikaaf. We began the khatma (reciting from beginning till end of the Book). In the end, during the du’aa, my heart opened up greatly and I began to weep like never before. It was the most beautiful hour of my life. Allaah had honoured me with the memorisation of His Book.

During the du’aa, I remembered a dream I had more than 10 years ago… I was a Mu’adhin of a mosque and after Fajr salaah, I sat remembering Allaah in the mosque. I felt sleepy so I took a nap in the middle of the mosque, and behold! I found myself amidst a gathering. A powerful ray of light descended from the sky down to the middle of the masjid. From that light came many angels and between them were 2 big Angels. One of them turned towards me and took me to the light. I entered along with the 2 angels. I then found myself on top of a large green tree - I began to climb it in the companionship of the 2 angels. We found angels standing by the door of the 1st heaven. They said to me ‘Where are you going?’ They opened up a book and said, ‘We don’t have your name with us, so climb onwards to the top.’ And likewise, all the time (through each heaven), they said the same thing to me.

Upon arriving at the 7th heaven, we reached the end of the tree. I found angels standing at the door and they said, ‘Are you Muhammad?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ They said, ‘Enter, for the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) wants you.’ I said to the 2 angels that were with me ‘Come in with me.’ They said, ‘We can’t enter. But we will wait for you.’ So I entered Jannah and behold, I saw therein what no eye has seen, no ear has heard and had never entered in the heart of Man. Angels were surrounding me and there was a door, on top of it was written (There is no God but Allaah and Muhammad is His Messenger. Al-Firdaws Paradise).

The Angels opened the door and I entered. Before me was the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) sitting at the top end and beside him were men, some that I recognised and some that I didn’t. In front of him were a very large group of men, women and children. They wore white clothes, and they were so many that they had a beginning but no end. All of them were reciting Qur’aan.

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) called me and I went up to him. He got up and made some space for me. I kissed him and he sat me down besides him. I asked him ‘Who are these people O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, ‘These are the people who have memorised the Book of Allaah `azza wa jall.’

Inshaa’Allaah ta’ala, the dream ended in truth. I never spoke to anyone about it until the night that I completed the memorisation of the Qur’aan.”

Allahu Akbar, if this is not tawfeeq from Allaah and determination… I don’t know what is!