The

Muslim Housewife

Ramadan has surprised us once again with its quick and sudden arrival.  The day’s fast is a bit more grueling than before, peaking around 14 hours.  When one’s mouth becomes parched from thirst and one’s stomach twists and turns from hunger it makes you grateful for all that Allah has given you.  We quickly take for granted having food and water readily available to us.  We walk up to the sink and fill our glass with water to quench our thirst at anytime we want.  We have the ability to pick and choose what we want to eat and what we feel like eating.  Unfortunately there are many in the world who haven’t had a bite to eat for countless days, or haven’t had clean water to drink to quench their thirst.  Picking and choosing what to eat and drink is far from their concerns.

There are many things you can do this month and year around to show your gratefulness and help those less fortunate.

1. Before eating and drinking make sure you pause and take a second to be grateful for the food and drink that awaits you.  Make sure you recite the specific duas before and after eating.

2. Make a consistent donation (every month) towards feeding the hungry.

Places to donate:

Africa Food Crisis

Access to Water Project

3. Want a more creative way to help the hunger crisis? Check out the following…

 FreeRice-Really cool website!  Learn and help end world hunger at the same time by providing rice to hungry people for free

The Hunger Site-Click the icon to give free food.  When you click, sponsors pay to distribute food to those in need.

4. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.  This makes one aware that this is not just a global issue but a local one as well.  It’s also a great opportunity to do dawah.

 Click here to find a soup kitchen in your area.

5. Remember the most powerful thing you can do is remember the people in need in your duas, Allah is Most Powerful and inshallah will make things  easy for them.

A few months ago I received a video titled “Chicken a la Carte.” It won an award for being best short film (6 minutes) and tells a true story.  Its what brought tears to my eyes when I saw the children laughing and it is what motivated me to write this post.  Watch below.

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

“Those will have gardens of perpetual residence; beneath them rivers will flow. They will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold and will wear green garments of fine silk and brocade, reclining therein on adorned couches. Excellent is the reward, and good is the resting place.” [18:31]

There are times we all lose focus. Shaytaan gets the best of us and we forget what we are really working for. We forget our ultimate goal. Anytime I start feeling like this I immediately think of this ayah from Surah Al-Kahf. After I read it I regain focus and get a quick eman boost!

Just like homes in this life aren’t free neither is a home in Jannah. We must all work hard to get that home made of gold and jewels. To receive all that has been mentioned in the ayah above we need to do as many righteous deeds we can with sincerity and according to the sunnah. From picking up something off the floor to giving charity we should never pass an opportunity to do good.

There will never be ultimate comfort in this life, even when we feel like we have reached comfort our minds still carry worries and concerns of this life. The true comfort is saved for the hereafter. We put so much effort to attain things in this life that are all temporary. One day we will die and leave all that we worked for in this life behind. What have we done to ensure that we will have a blissful hereafter? The Shaytaan forgets we have to work hard for the hereafter. We have to look beyond this life and look forward to the eternal life.

As wives we need to join our husband and help one another to do as much good as possible. When there is such support it is easier to do such things. We should encourage our husbands to do Islamic activities. Encourage him to join in on a weekly halaqa, or take weekend seminars with institutes like Al Maghrib. Often when we try to plan a husband/wife activity we try to come up with something “fun” to do. This usually involves dining out and maybe even a bit of shopping. We should also take out time to do Islamic activities together. I personally enjoy doing Salah together. If you don’t do this already give it a try! There are other things you could do as well such as going to an Islamic lecture, reading a book, or reflecting upon a ayah from the Quran or hadith. When the husband and wife are strong in their faith inshallah the children will also follow.

Generally the youth get more attracted to the adornments of this life. That is why there is a hadith that states one of the seven types of people to receive Allah’s shade on the day of judgment is a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah [paraphrased from Sahih Bukhari]. Don’t you want your children to be amongst these youth? As mothers we need to teach our children the great reward of obeying Allah and worshiping Him alone. We need to teach them that there is more to life than Barbie, Cinderella, Basketball, and Legos. There is the need to attain Jannah, our ultimate goal!

The good things in this world should remind us about Allah and then remind us of our final destination. Allah has sent us here for a test and those who pass will have their great reward in the eternal life inshallah!

 *Activity* Print out this ayah [18:31] and put it somewhere you can see, it is a great reminder of what we will attain in the hereafter if we are believers who are most obedient to Allah SWT and work in His way.

This past Sunday there was a potluck for two brides to be (my dear cousin-in-law and a daughter of a family friend) at my mother in laws house. At the party I gave my first Islamic “talk.” Below is the transcribed version…

Bismillah.

Narrated by Ibn Abbas: The Prophet (saw) said: “I was shown the hellfire and that te majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” He (saw) replied, “They were ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and good done to one of them and then she sees something in you no of her liking she will say, I have never received any good from you.”

Inshallah I will be giving a brief talk about a women’s natural disposition of generalizing her husband’s negative traits. Not only does this hadith give us a marital tip but it shows how much Allah SWT dislikes the act of ungratefulness. It is also very interesting to note that the punishment of this act is directly proportional to the impact it has on your marriage.

Generally speaking, if you look at the commands and punishments of Allah you will notice that the more negative impact a sin has on your life the more severe the punishment. Isn’t this so? For an example, adultery is a major sin. It ruins your relationship with your spouse which could lead to a bad relationship with your children. All of this leads to destruction in society. So as you can see adultery has a huge negative affect on your life therefore its punishment is equally as severe.

Tying this back to the hadith, being ungrateful to your husband can cause rifts in your marriage and furthermore it’s a road map to the hellfire. So what exactly is at the end of the road?

The Quran states:

“No food will there be for them except from a bitter, thorny plant which neither nourishes nor avails against hunger.” [88:6-7]

“They will be give to drink boiling water, so that it cuts up their bowels to pieces. ” [47:15]

Subhanallah, Allah gives us a description of the hellfire and fully illustrates the punishment and torment. One will be so hungry and thirsty and will have nothing but these things to eat and drink. A person will eat the thorny plants and drink the boiling water hoping that his hunger and thirst will go away, but it doesn’t!

There are many examples of how women generalize their husband’s negative traits. Sometimes husbands have a chore in the house that they do on a regular basis. Usually it’s vacuuming or taking out the trash. He usually does it, but once in a while he forgets. You see the undone chore and start thinking of the fact that it’s not done, that day there are other things adding to your stress and the first moment you see your husband you say, “You never help me around the house.” You say this although you know that he truly does help you, but as any human forgets once in a while. The other example of ungratefulness is when you see good qualities in other husbands and compare them to your husband, totally undermining all of the good qualities your husband has that others do not.

Granted there are many times when women are overwhelmed with the many they have to do. From chasing after children, to cooking on a daily basis and at times even working. We have all the excuses in the world to be stressed, but that doesn’t mean we should wait for the moment we are with our husbands to take out our frustrations on him when he makes one isolated mistake.

Inshallah if you follow my three step formula called “FRE” you will avoid this dangerous pitfall in your marriage.

1. FOCUS on the positive traits rather than the negative one he just did

2. Seek REFUGE in Allah from the whispers of Shaytaan, this is the most important step one could take. Once you do this you will automatically feel a calmness overcome you.

3. Catch yourself EARLY before you go 1,000 miles in the wrong direction

Inshallah I make dua to Allah SWT, for Him to put mercy and blessings between you and your husband.

Subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika, ‘ash-hadu ‘an laa ‘ilaaha ‘illaa ‘Anta, ‘astaghfiruka wa ‘atoobu ‘ilayka.

Glory is to You, O Allah, and praise is to You. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but You. I seek Your forgiveness and repent to You.