As many of you know I have officially moved to Michigan. Alhumdulilah it’s nice being home. In the beginning there were times when I went out to run errands kind of forgetting I was in Michigan, and when I would run into people I knew it was a pleasant surprise. I have been staying with my in laws and make trips to visit my family every few weeks, I forgot what a great blessing it was to be able to go see my parents whenever I want, Alhumdulilah.
Living with my in laws has been a nice experience Alhumdulilah. When you live with someone you build a relationship with them that cannot be built over the phone. It’s a nice time to understand your in laws and get to know their likes and dislikes. I feel you build a true relationship with your in laws when you live with them for a period of time. In this day and age many daughter in laws become hesitant to stay with there in laws even if it is for a temporary time.
Now a days there are some women who put a wall up between their in laws and themselves. This is the start of a bad beginning. One must understand that although differences may occur your in laws are your husband’s family and they deserve to be respected. Often you hear of the stereotypical mother in law who is overruling and always involved in your relationship with your husband. I am not denying that there are some mother in laws who fit in this category, and these type of mother in laws need to realize that these sort of relationships are not about a power trip, instead they should be relationships of comfort and love.
People also need to realize there will be times of disagreement and misunderstanding, but then again things like this happen when you are human and it doesn’t mean its the end of a relationship or end of the world for that matter. As Muslims we need to deal with situations with the best manner. And even if your mother in law is wrong and you’re right it doesn’t mean you need to go the extra mile in a disagreement to prove your point. The following hadith opened my eyes:
Abu Umamah narrated: Allah’s Messenger Messenger (pbuh) said. “I guarantee an abode within the boundary of Paradise for one who gives up arguing, even if he is right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Paradise for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun, and I guarantee the sublime portion of Paradise for one whose conduct is good.” (Abu Dawood)
I think this is a good enough reason to hold your tongue in matters of disagreement!
I have been seeing and hearing a lot of divorce occuring in our Ummah. And in a few personal cases that I know of, most of the time the couples have a good relationship, but it was the interfering of in laws that drove the once happy couple apart. Are petty differences worth a divorce? The Quran states a beautiful ayah,
“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel evil by that deed which is better; and thereupon, the one whom between you and him is enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend (41:34).
What a wonderful advice from Allah SWT Himself! Subhanallah! I believe many relationships can be saved if this beautiful advice is followed.
I leave you with a piece of advice my dear father gave me when I got married 6 years ago. “Beta (my dear daughter), remember if you want a blissful marriage make your husband’s family as if it is your own.” Alhumdulilah I followed his advice, and by the grace of All Mighty Allah, Allah has blessed me with a good marriage.
May Allah protect my husband’s family, May He give them all the good in this life and even better in the hereafter!
