The Muslim Housewife.

The other day I went to TJ Maxx to look for a purse (kinda getting tired of the diaper bag now!) and to look for some ramekins for my sister-in-law. I went through the purses pretty quickly since every one I touched seemed to be no less than $150! Then I headed over to the household items. As I was walking through the aisle I noticed that Isra had stopped and wasn’t following me. Instead her glance was stuck on a woman who was in the same aisle as us. She was eating sunflower seeds and of course Isra was drooling :). As I went to pick her up she started pointing at her signaling that she really wanted some seeds. The woman came close to us and said “Oh no, you’re going to choke on them.” The only way I could divert Isra’s attention was with some Veggie chips I had in the diaper bag!

The lady was about to leave the aisle and all of a sudden she turns and asks with a grin, “Where are you from?” And I replied “My parents are from India.” She said “Oh, ok” in a slightly unsettling manner. As she was about to leave I asked her where she was from since she seemed like she was from a different country. She told me she was from Mexico. Then the doors of conversation opened.  Subhanallah the way Allah plans things!

She told me she wanted to know where I was from because of the way I was dressed (hejab and abaya). I told her the way I am dressed is because of my religion and not where I’m from. Then I told her I was Muslim and follow the religion of Islam!

Amala, the young woman I was talking to, probably in her mid to late twenties started asking me all kinds of questions about the way Muslim women are dressed. She asked if we are forced to wear it, if we wear it because our husbands are jealous, why we have to wear it, etc. And Subhanallah, I was able to answer all of her questions in a nice manner without hesitation, Alhumdulilah it was all by the grace of Allah! She was so interested in everything I had to say and was listening intently. We must have been talking for 15-20 minutes. At the end of the conversation she said that she saw things in a different light! At that time I gave her my personal business card and told her if she had any other questions or misconceptions she wanted me to clarify I would be more than happy in doing so. I left the store smiling!

Dawah has become a particular area of interest of mine since I made dawah to my neighbor Joe (http://themuslimhousewife.com/2008/03/28/a-few-kind-words/). I make dua to Allah SWT to enable me to convey His message in a correct and eloquent manner. It is our duty as Muslims to convey the message of Islam, Allah is the one who guides!  I pray that Allah gives guidance to Amala and my neighbor Joe, and to allow them to see the truth of Islam!

Ladies, remember as Muslimahs who where hejab and/or abaya we are walking sources of dawah. Many people look at us and have a thought or wonder why we do what we do. And then those who have enough curiosity approach us and ask us. This is a great way to open the doors to converse about our religion and clear up misconceptions people may have!

Many look, some ask, few ponder!

Yes that’s me, I am a wife of a business intelligence consultant. What is a consultant you ask? A consultant works in partnership with clients, advising them how to use information technology in order to meet their business objectives or overcome problems. Consultants work to improve the structure and efficiency and of an organsiation’s IT systems.

I have been married for over 5 years now Alhumdulilah, out of the 5 years my husband has been a consultant for a little over 2 years. So what’s the big deal? You might be thinking it sounds like a regular 9am-5pm job, and I have the house clean and dinner ready by the time he comes home in the evening, think again. As a consultant my husband flies out on Sunday nights and comes back home on Thursday nights.

This may be a hard relationship for most people. It’s not for everybody. You have to be prepared to be away from your husband 4 days out of the week, take care of everything at home on your own, and be ready to share him with other events and things on the weekends. In the beginning it took a little time to get use to, I would miss him dearly as I laid down in bed and would count the days till Thursday night would arrive. But after sometime it just became a way of life.

Being the eldest amongst my siblings I had always been quite independent, I think this quality really helps me with this lifestyle. You have to know how to keep yourself busy (Isra does a great job in this department!) and most importantly keep up with yourself even though your husband is not around. I remember in the beginning I use to be in my PJs most of the day since it was just me and Isra, but I soon realized this really affected the way I felt. So I started getting ready and took care of myself, I felt a big difference. Isra apparently saw a difference too because when I walked out of the bedroom she said “Oh wow”!

There are definitely pros and cons of being a wife of a consultant.

Some pros include…

-Traveling to different places with my husband a few weeks here and there. So far we have been blessed to have seen California, North Carolina, and South Carolina. Whenever he has a new project Isra and I try to go visit him for a few weeks to check out the area!

-You start to appreciate one another a lot more since you see a lot less of each other.

-Being alone at home taking care of a child and household chores makes you stronger as a woman.

Some cons include…

-You’re not together as a family as often as you would like

-The weekends together go by way to fast

-Cooking for one person is hard, you just don’t feel like cooking when you have to just feed yourself!

-Not seeing your husband on a daily basis.

All in all, the profession of a consultant can easily break a marriage if one chooses career over their relationship. It cannot work with all people, it is very important to discuss this career option with your spouse or soon to be spouse before getting married because it can be a big test for a relationship. Alhumdulilah my husband and I agreed that we were both the type of people that could handle this lifestyle!

And guess what day tomorrow is? THURSDAY! The day my husband comes home inshallah

South Carolina to Illinois

I’ve been in South Carolina for the past two weeks.  I do have to admit on my flight to the south I was getting nervous about getting dirty looks towards my appearance as a Muslimah (hijab & abaya).  I think the last time I felt like that was when I started wearing hijab to High School where there were no Muslims.  It’s a kind of feeling where your stomach turns and you feel a butterfly sensation.

To my suprise since the day I landed here I have not received one dirty look, Alhumdulilah!  Instead I have received many smiles and nods of respect.  People here actually go out of their way to be nice, opening doors for you and  sincerely asking how you are doing.  There doesn’t seem to be many Muslims here, I bumped into one Muslimah at the mall.  She came up to me and introduced herself and told me that my face seemed new to her since she knew bascially all the Muslims in town!  There also isn’t any zabiha places to eat around here, which was a little hard to adjust to in the beginning.

Reflecting upon all of this makes me grateful for all the things I do have back home in Chicago.  The great Muslim community, the abundant Masajid and an assortment of zabiha restaurants you can choose from.  Alhumdulilah, it truly is a blessing.

On another note, I have been able to do some dawah while I have been here.  Every morning there is a breakfast reception in the hotel I am staying at.  Isra and I make our way down and get some breakfast every morning.  The employee who works there, Barbara, is a very friendly African American woman.  After a few days of seeing one another we started talking.  At first it was basic conversation about our backgrounds.  Just yesterday I thought it would be a good time to bring up religion.  The topic came about so smoothly, it wasn’t wierd or akward at all.  Alhumdulilah it was a very good conversation and I hope that Allah SWT will guide her to the truth.  She listened very intently and didn’t refute at all!

As Muslims we have to remember that it is part of our duty to spread the deen of Islam.  This has been a particularly new interest of mine and I have been trying to make the best of every oppotunity I get to do dawah.  Many of us think we are not capable of spreading our deen because we are not knowledgable enough.  The truth is we all know the basic beliefs of our religion and that is essentially what you need to convey.  You don’t have to be fancy with your words, you just need to speak from the heart and tell others what the religion of Islam is truly about.  There is a great CD set out there by Sh. Muhammad Alshareef called ”Fiqh Ad-Dawah: Guiding to Allah by the Book” definitely worth checking out.  Inshallah Allah will make this duty easy upon all of us.

All in all I would have to say the south has truly lived up to its “Southern Hospitality.”  Back to Chicago on Friday inshallah!