A Great Responsibility.
“Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.”
As mothers we are with our children most. Many times you see your children imitating you cooking, or ironing or reading a book. This shows that mothers have a great influence on their children without even trying. It is more important than ever for us mothers to set a good example for our children.
Allah SWT has given mothers a huge responsibility of rearing good Muslim children. Although our daily chores take over our lives it is important to prioritize and set aside some time for our children. As housewives we often feel it is part of our job description to be able to multi-task at all times. I often find myself doing the usual routine of life and of course Isra is with me at all times and I would play and read to her in between cooking dinner and studying for Al Huda. So I thought I was spending a good amount of time with Isra. In reality we need to ask ourselves how much of this time is quality time? I mention quality time because this is when you have 100% of your focus on your child.
Rearing Good Muslim Children.
Many times we think sending our children to Sunday school makes a good Muslim. This cannot be the primary source of Islamic education. Instead it can be a supplemental source of knowledge. The foundation of our children becomes strong and firm starting at home. If we surround our children with a good Islamic environment by reading Quran, reading them stories from “Heroes of Islam,” and minimizing the amount of T.V. they watch, they will naturally be more inclined to Islam and be strong in their beliefs. Another thing us mothers need to remember is if we want our children to do something or have certain habits, we need to be doing these things as well. For an example, if we want our children to read Quran daily, mothers should also be doing the same. It goes back to what I mentioned earlier about how children imitate their mothers.
Change.
Trying to achieve the goal of raising children with a strong Islamic foundation takes a lot of patience and determination. You may find that you have to change many of your habits before telling your children to do so. Because as we all know the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. How can we tell our children to do things we want them to do when we don’t do it ourselves, right? So for those who are mothers, soon to be mothers, or inshallah will be mothers in the future check yourselves. Try to instill the habits you want to see in your kids in yourself first. I bet once we do this we will automatically see some change in our kids. Lastly, we all need to remember that raising children with a strong Islamic foundation is not just good for their lives and society as a whole, but it benefits us as well. Raising good children will ensure, inshallah, that they will be a source of sadaqah jariyah when we leave this world to return to Allah SWT.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:28 am
Your comment about raising children was very inspiring. Yes! As mothers we need spend quality not quantity time with our children. I would like to share what I do. I am a full time working mom. Here is my daily routine with my children Age 7 and 3. After Fajr Salah I go to work and get back home after my daughter is back from school. I get home in time for Asr salah which we prayed together after which we memorize surahs together while my 3 year old is reading his Arabic Alphabet or pretend to. We then have dinner together where we talk about our day so each of us will have a turn. We then clean up the kitchen with all of us helping. This is on a good day they are days I deal with the grumpy kids. I then sit with my daughter supervising her homework then then play time together. We pray Magrib together then I read my Quran while the kids do their Quida reading. We talk and play again then I read them both a book of their choice. I then have to rock my son reciting surahs and have him read his duaa for bed and kalimah, name of 5 salat, beliefs and pillars of islam. I will then put him down for bed. In the meantime trying to get my daughter to bed can be challenging somtimes..mom I am not ready, 5 more mins etc. She read every night a page of 2 from a book called Quran for kids and listen to a lectures with my mom if she wished then goes to bed. By this time my husband comes home and I spend time with him before salah and bed. Oh! I forgot my daughter also take swimming which I take her 2 days per week right after work. This is my weekly routine and there are sometimes changes depending on the mood so we might switch things around a little. I wanted to share this with all the working mothers that we can do it if our hearts are there. Allah gives you the time. Like Farah said TV is poison and yes I stop watching TV and I’ve gained so much more. The kids only watch a show or two which can be islamic from a tape or on tree house. We only have one TV and TV is not allowed on when we are spending time together or eating. I simply would like to be a good mother and wife inshallall and to raise good children, therefore,I am trying to teach them the good value of being muslim and to be proud of who they are. This have to start at home before sending them to an Islamic School. They would then have the love for their religion and humanity at large and we will benifit from this inshallah . May Allah help us all to be good wives and parents. inshallallah.
WSalaam
May 1st, 2008 at 11:26 am
Adorable Picture. Thats Isra 5 years from now
May 1st, 2008 at 11:09 pm
This reminds of the following documentary from the BBC back from like 03 or 04 ish…
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6571692509544428336&hl=en
Fast forward to 10:30 or so, and watch from there onwards for about 6 minutes. You’ll see what I mean, it’s worth the watch!
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Masha’Allah that was a really good reminder.
One thing I always think to myself is that I can’t expect from my child anything I don’t expect for myself. I can’t expect her (I’m referring more toward my eldest) to be neat if I’m not neat, to be patient if I’m not patient, to read Qur’an everyday if I don’t or to memorize it, to pray with kushoo’ if I don’t. It’s natural for us to want our children to be better than us, to not have the same shortcomings we do and that’s a good thing. But at the same time I think many times parents don’t try for those goals themselves and they get some sort of outside help. Like as an example, you want your child to memorize X juz of the Qur’an and since you yourself haven’t memorized you send them elsewhere. It can apply with anything. We have to expect from ourselves before we can expect from our kids because we are their models. Allah, most of the time, will not make your child stellar when you’re lukewarm.