Hajj Series: Preparation Checklists

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During Ramadan there were a handful of duas I consistently made. One of those duas was for my husband and I to perform Hajj this year and to make my heart as content as possible with leaving my little children behind to do so. Alhumdulilah that dua has been granted! Inshallah we will be leaving for Hajj in just one week!

Preparing for Hajj takes time and when you have three kids ages five and under that you will be leaving behind it takes a lil more planning to ensure the children are as comfortable as possible in your absence.

Organization is the key to making things run as smooth as possible while you are away.

I’ll be sharing all of my prep work, tips, and ideas for mothers who hope to do Hajj in the future inshallah.

I started all of my preparations about a month ago. Initially I was overwhelmed by the amount of things I needed to do. Writing down a checklist made things easier.

*Hajj Preparation Checklist*

Hajj Related

  • Prepare Will, get notarized
  • Make copies of passports
  • Shop for items needed
  • Call family and friends, post Facebook status
  • Pay all debts
  • Attend local Hajj prep lectures
  • Listen to lectures and read up on the rites of Hajj
  • Buy books: “Hajj & Umrah Made Easy” and “Hajj A-Z” to take along
  • Make dua list, include duas that people have requested for you to make
  • Exercise
  • Start making a mental shift in order to expect anything at Hajj and to be patient during those times
  • Write up a letter stating parents have the authority to make decisions regarding my children on my behalf while I am away, get it notarized.

Kids School 

  • Notify teacher
  • Setup phone meeting with teacher
  • Inform teacher of parents and sister in laws contact information
  • Make a go to list of breakfast and lunch ideas
  • Get teacher’s personal phone number

Home Management 

  • Create “While we’re away” tab in home management binder
  • Detail clean house
  • Notify Leasing office
  • Stock groceries, diapers, etc.
  • Find Housekeeper to come clean a few times
  • Leave money for expenses
  • Make calendar of Isra’s school schedule and activities to do with kids
  • Plan a lesson about Hajj for kids, do lesson plan prior to leaving

Eid 

  • Buy kids Eid clothes
  • Decorate home
  • Pack gifts for kids, parents and sister in law
  • Leave note reminding them to buy kids Eid balloons

Other

  • Make sure to think of things that would make parents and sister in law’s two week stay as comfortable as possible.
  • Talk to friends that have gone to Hajj to get additional tips

 

So far the checklist has been helpful in keeping me on task. Still have plenty to do. More posts to come on how to ensure your home runs smoothly while you’re away for Hajj.

 Keeping things visible & written out serve as a great reminder system: Color coded calendar and Morning Routine

Stumbling through Parenting

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Dear Daughter,

It seems that you woke up deciding you didn’t want to listen to anything I had to say.  Neither of us budged and stuck to our grounds.  You didn’t want to listen and I was persistent in wanting you to listen.  As frustrated as I was with you, I realize it’s ok for you to act the way you did.  You are five years old and are testing your limits, your boundaries.  You want to see what rules you can break and get away with.  And that is absolutely fine.  My job as a mother is to realize that you are not intentionally trying make me upset but rather acknowledge that you are learning what you can and cannot do.

It was a hard day. I may have raised my voice out of frustration when instead I should have just stepped away.  You being my first child, I too am learning.  You too one day will have children of your own so remember days like this will occur, so just keep your cool.  Remember Allah and all you have to be grateful for and before you know it tranquility will occur

As the day came to an end, I Iooked forward to lay in bed and before I knew it tears rolled down my cheeks.  I blamed myself for the imbalance in the day. I was upset and worried why you didn’t listen to me that day and again thought to myself that maybe I had done something wrong.  Was it my parenting that made you act the way you did?  Of course it was not, but emotion took me over and I couldn’t help but feel an ache in my heart.  Subhanallah, Allah has put so much mercy in a mother’s heart that even though I felt hurt from your disobedience the last thing that came out of my mouth was a precious dua for my little sweetheart.

Love you forever,

Momma

 

 

 

 

The Secret to Having Children with Good Habits

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Every parent wants their children to be awesome.  I know I do.  Now having three children I’m always thinking of ways to increase their knowledge about things and do things to build their character.  Seems like a lot of reading on parenting and researching activities for them doesn’t it?  There’s no need to get into all that, the secret to building good habits in your children is closer than you think…real close.

It’s YOU! Yup that’s right you are the key to building good habits in your children.  If you think the same way I do then you’re thinking reading a ton of books on parenting is much easier than you being their key to good habits!

Having three kids you’d think I would have figured out this secret a while ago.  And the truth is I did, I just didn’t realize it until I saw the outcome in my children.  As the kids grow up I have been able to pick up on a lot of things I did right and a lot of things I need to improve in myself in order for them to get it right as well.

-If I stay in pajamas Isra feels no need to change.

-If I make dua before eating, then Isra makes dua before eating without me even reminding her.

You get the point.

Teaching secular studies from a book is easy, what’s hard is teaching children good habits and building good character, because all of that comes from home and is essentially a reflection of you.  If you want your children to have awesome character and habits then so do you.

There was a time period where my husband and I were “screening” a lot whether it’d be on an iPhone or a laptop we were on the screen quite a bit.  At times it would be just surfing looking for homeschooling stuff and other times it would be Pinterest.  The kids would randomly come to my husband or I and ask if “they could do screens” (i.e. playing with the iPad or iPhone) I would look at them with a questioning face and would immediately say no.  How could they ask and think about screens  when there were so many other, productive things to do?  And that night is when it clicked. My husband and I decided that we would keep screening to a minimal especially when the kids were awake, most if not all research and emailing would be done after the kids go to sleep or out of their sight if they were awake.  Since we have done this the kids naturally ask to “screen” a lot less.  By the way anyone coming out with a “Screen-Free” Parenting book soon?

Another way to build good habits in your kids is to have them join you in the things you wish for them to do.  For an example, I’ve alway wanted my kids to love exercising and just being active.  In the beginning I use to slowly sneak out of the house to go workout at the clubhouse gym while my husband watched  the kids.  I thought this would be good “me” time. Then I realized that I should take Isra with me so she is exposed to working out and the importance of it.  She will eventually put together that no matter how busy Mama gets she takes time out to workout, and hopefully she will do the same.  And this has turned out to be true, Isra loves to workout.  She has to come to the gym with me whenever I go and we recently started doing morning yoga together at home before we start the day.  I randomly even catch her doing walking lunges across the family room!

So instead of reading books or Googling topics on “How to teach your kids good habits” just take ten minutes out of your day and write a list of things you would like to see in your child.  Then take a few moments to reflect on whether or not you do those things.  If you don’t how will you implement these things in your life and how will you involve your child? Once you do that you’re on the road to awesomeness!

 

An excerpt from my list…

What traits/habits I want in children                                 What I need to do 

1. To love the Quran                                                                             Recite Quran out loud in children’s presence

2. To be active                                                                                         Do morning yoga with the kids

3. Not be “screen” (computers/iphones) addicts                           Minimal emailing and surfing when kids are around

Alhumdulilah we are already doing two of the three things listed, and they have now become very natural to the point the kids do those things whether or not I ask them to!

And lastly, when you set the bar high for your children’s habits and character, when they have kids those high achievements will just seem normal and they will expect even more out of their children which means they will be awesomer.  Don’t you want to leave behind an awesome generation?