The Muslim Housewife.

In the past month or so I have been traveling a lot.  I was in Michigan for a few weeks here and there for family events, currently I am in South Carolina, and then later this month I will be in California for about a week (a shout out to all of my Michigan, S.Carolina and California readers, jazakallah khair for the support!).  I love traveling and seeing new places and new things, but with traveling comes a lot of adjusting.  One  must adapt to new places quickly when always on the go.

As I got a moment to sit down and relax (while Isra was sleeping of course!)  I began to think, as much as I love traveling there is no place like home.  After a few weeks anywhere I start to miss my daily routine.  I feel like when I am at home I am a lot more disciplined with myself  when it comes to doing extra good deeds or eating healthy and exercising.  The things I do at home such as read Quran before I go to bed, exercise, and eat healthy  are things I want to be a part of me…a habit.  While traveling I realized that these things I do at home are not true habits because it seems when I leave my “bubble” in Wheaton, Illinois I leave these so called habits behind as well.

It is important for a person to make the good things they do into a habit, something that a person does automatically without giving much thought.  Of course if you travel a lot it may not be possible to have the exact same daily routine you have at home, this is normal.  But I believe you can selectively pick and choose the good things you do on a daily basis and apply to your day even when you are on the go.  This will make you feel good both physically, spiritually and will keep the homesick feeling at bay.

One problem many people have is a take it or leave it attitude.  If a person cannot have their complete routine they will leave it totally.  To get past this we need to realize that when traveling or visiting family the truth is we most likely will not be able to have our typical daily routine, but to do a few things that are easy to do is better than nothing.

This not only applies to adults but children as well.  I know for those who are mothers (myself included) may get frustrated at times when our children’s routine goes haywire.  Their sleeping, eating, playing, you name it gets all jumbled around when you’re on the road.  This is just a fact of life.  But we can still do things such as bath before bedtime, and reading a book before bedtime, and going for daily walks to make things feel a little more like home.

So all in all one thing I learned from my reflections on traveling so much is that a habit is not a true habit unless you do those things where ever you are in any circumstance.  Since I will be traveling quite a bit this month my goal is to pick 4 good things I do daily at home and apply it and make it into a REAL, TRUE habit!

Are you a traveler?  Read the following quick tips, called Triple P, to keep your Mind, Body, and Soul nourished!

1. Pick 4- good things you do when you are at home and make them into REAL habits. Make sure you try to pick one for each mind, body, and soul! (i.e. Mind=Reading a good book, Body=Exercising/Eating healthy, Soul=Reading and reflecting upon the Qura)

2. Pay a visit- to the local Masjid.  When you settle in at your hotel make sure you look up the closest masjid, its always nice to find a Muslim Community!

3. Purge the urge- to always eat out, try to stay in a hotel that has a basic kitchen.  Go to the local market and buy fruits, veggies, eggs, bread. etc. and make your own quick meals.  A lot better for your heart and pocket!

Us salaam alaikum wa rehmathullahi wa barakatuhu.

Inshallah you all are doing well.  I wanted to inform you of a correction in a previous post I had written, “A Creative Way to Lift a Burden.”  In the post I had written how one could pay their fidiyah by purchasing FEED bags from Whole Foods.   My dear group in charge (May Allah bless her and her family) from Al Huda Institute emailed me asking if it was ok to pay the fidiyah to Non-Muslims.  Alhumdulilah for her asking this very important question that did not occur to me.

That same weekend of her inquiry, Sheikh Yasir Qadhi (May Allah accept his good deeds) was in Chicago to teach an Al Maghrib Class.  The question was forwarded to him and he said that the fidiyah MUST be given to Muslims, unless it is absolutely impossible.  Which in most cases it is very easy to feed needy Muslims through organizations such as Islamic Relief.  I also went on Wikipedia to check the demographic statistics of Rwanda (the country in which the children are given food if the “FEED” bags are purchased) to see if the majority by any chance was Muslim, it was not.

Therefore I will have to repay my fidiyah.  I will most likely pay it through Islamic Relief.  If you purchased these bags in order to pay your fidiyah please understand that you MUST REPAY the FIDIYAH.  If you go through Islamic Relief or any other organization make sure you specify the money to go towards the feeding of people.  Another idea could be to send money to relatives back home and have them feed the needy Muslims in their local area.

I also had the question of how much money would one have to pay.  Usually if you are feeding people you calculate how much one average meal would cost and multiply it by the number of people you need to feed (1 person for every fast missed). So for an example, you can get a good meal for $5.00 in the United States, I missed 30 days of fasts so that’s 30 people x $5.00=$150.  I would send a check to the designated organization of $150 to feed the needy Muslims. Allah knows best.

I ask Allah the Most Merciful to forgive me if I have led anyone astray, indeed He is the most knowledgeable in all that we do in action and in heart.  I ask Allah to accept all of our good deeds.  And for those who have purchased these bags, I ask Allah to accept this act as a charitable act in and of itself.

Your Sister in Islam,

Farah Anwarullah

“Those will have gardens of perpetual residence; beneath them rivers will flow. They will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold and will wear green garments of fine silk and brocade, reclining therein on adorned couches. Excellent is the reward, and good is the resting place.” [18:31]

There are times we all lose focus. Shaytaan gets the best of us and we forget what we are really working for. We forget our ultimate goal. Anytime I start feeling like this I immediately think of this ayah from Surah Al-Kahf. After I read it I regain focus and get a quick eman boost!

Just like homes in this life aren’t free neither is a home in Jannah. We must all work hard to get that home made of gold and jewels. To receive all that has been mentioned in the ayah above we need to do as many righteous deeds we can with sincerity and according to the sunnah. From picking up something off the floor to giving charity we should never pass an opportunity to do good.

There will never be ultimate comfort in this life, even when we feel like we have reached comfort our minds still carry worries and concerns of this life. The true comfort is saved for the hereafter. We put so much effort to attain things in this life that are all temporary. One day we will die and leave all that we worked for in this life behind. What have we done to ensure that we will have a blissful hereafter? The Shaytaan forgets we have to work hard for the hereafter. We have to look beyond this life and look forward to the eternal life.

As wives we need to join our husband and help one another to do as much good as possible. When there is such support it is easier to do such things. We should encourage our husbands to do Islamic activities. Encourage him to join in on a weekly halaqa, or take weekend seminars with institutes like Al Maghrib. Often when we try to plan a husband/wife activity we try to come up with something “fun” to do. This usually involves dining out and maybe even a bit of shopping. We should also take out time to do Islamic activities together. I personally enjoy doing Salah together. If you don’t do this already give it a try! There are other things you could do as well such as going to an Islamic lecture, reading a book, or reflecting upon a ayah from the Quran or hadith. When the husband and wife are strong in their faith inshallah the children will also follow.

Generally the youth get more attracted to the adornments of this life. That is why there is a hadith that states one of the seven types of people to receive Allah’s shade on the day of judgment is a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah [paraphrased from Sahih Bukhari]. Don’t you want your children to be amongst these youth? As mothers we need to teach our children the great reward of obeying Allah and worshiping Him alone. We need to teach them that there is more to life than Barbie, Cinderella, Basketball, and Legos. There is the need to attain Jannah, our ultimate goal!

The good things in this world should remind us about Allah and then remind us of our final destination. Allah has sent us here for a test and those who pass will have their great reward in the eternal life inshallah!

 *Activity* Print out this ayah [18:31] and put it somewhere you can see, it is a great reminder of what we will attain in the hereafter if we are believers who are most obedient to Allah SWT and work in His way.